January 29, 2008
I'm packing my books up, getting ready to leave school. I had a meeting with Natsumi, because she's about to go to Australia, and she wanted to practice her conversation skills. I feel a little bad for her, like she's about to embark on the confusion that is my life, and she's just a kid. Not tough-as-nails "it's okay as long as I can complain about Japan later in internet forums" like me.
I try to leave, but Sports-sensei blocks the door with a huge smile until I recite the days of the week in Japanese. I do them okay, and then he tells me to do them backwards. I give him my students' "Eeeeeeh?" look, and he shows me he's joking by punching me in the bicep. I laugh even though he almost knocked me off my feet, but, hey, it's nice to feel smaller than someone for a change.
I hop on my bike, ready for my adventure to get bus tickets for me and two friends, and I realize it's darker than I thought and also raining. I briefly consider taking a taxi from school to the station and back, but either way I'd have to bike home in the rain. And I have an iPod and the book I'm reading told me to make special dates with myself to clear my head, so I head on my way.
The scenery is nice. I've never been down this road by bike, so I can look in the shops a little slower as I go past. The last time I biked to this station down a different road was in the dead of summer, so I felt that it would be refreshing in the frigid winter. I'm half right.
When I get to my destination, I've gotten a pretty good workout, and to any other day's good fortune, the bus depot is heated. To this day's misfortune, I am now sweating like a buta (pig). I feel fairly certain that I can buy three tickets without incident. I did it a month before to get my tickets for Narita airport, AND my friend Dave texted me my departure and destination in kanji.
I expect to pay 9,000 yen for the three of us. A nice-looking guy bravely nods for me to approach his counter. It's weird to be on the other side of racial stereotypes. If you looked at an Asian person in America and worried you might have a communication issue because they don't speak-a the English, you'd get slapped with sensitivity training. Here, expecting foreigners to not speak the language may be a stereotype, but for me, it's true. That's why I wear an apologetic expression and shrug and bow a lot. I know it's rude for me not to speak-a the J-go. I'm learning. Yesterday, I learned how say "Please wait a moment" from a crosswalk. Yes, even the crosswalks are polite here.
The guy asks for 5,000 yen. I hand him the money without thinking. He could have been fining me for sweating in a public area. He could want the money for a nice, new hat. He may or may not even work here. As some of you mathematicians know, 5,000 does not equal 9,000.
My friend warned me to get a receipt. The man stands back, looking proud that he got the gaijin's order without incident. His face indicates the end of the transaction. He really is a nice guy. I hate to put him through this.
"Excuse me," I ask in Japanese. "This is for 3 people, right?"
"Yes," he may or many not have said. Then he says something else. I give him the polite version of my students' "Eeeeh?" look.
"Bus driver," he says in English. I hold out the slip of paper he handed me that distinctly does not look like a ticket or a receipt. Neither does it look like the ticket I got a month ago from the same depot. I say again in broken Japanese, "Bus driver...give?"
"Yes, yes!" Then he draws an elaborate picture of me and my two friends. My guessing mind is all guessed out. I ask him to please wait a moment (Thanks again, crosswalk!) and I pull out my cellphone to call my supervisor.
No answer. I know he's at basketball practice. I call my other English teacher friend. I get her on the line, and she's instantly worried about my health, as the last time I called her, I asked for a favor, and she thought I said I had a fever. My cellphone blinks. In the land of technology, Japan deems it only appropriate to give the low-battery warning 30 seconds before shut-off. You can't make this stuff up.
I slam the phone shut to end the call, and furiously reopen it to grab her number before it's lost forever. It works. Unfortunately, none of the other phones in the office seem to. My life is a sitcom. The poor nice man is running around picking up various phones and flinging them about, looking for one that works.
He finally finds one, and I'm hooked back up with my teacher friend who I'm sure assumed I was long dead by this point. I explain the sitch, hand the phone to him, and try to compose myself as he explains the obvious confusion. A woman hands me a glove I dropped. By now I'm sweating like a murder suspect. Maybe she just wanted me to mop my forehead with it so I'd stop scaring the children.
The guy hands the phone back. My friend explains that the paper the man handed me was a coupon that is somehow different but equal to a ticket. But it only applies to two people, and we pay for the third person to the bus driver when we actually board the bus. Of course we do.
I exclaim, "Aaaah, I see!" and I hear a few ladies behind the counter repeat after me. Not with malice, but like they wanted to practice the new English phrase they learned for the world suddenly making sense. I hang up the phone. I apologize. A lot of bowing happens. I feel guilty, like I'd personally accused the man of making a mistake. In truth, I was torn between disturbing the peace here or letting down my friends who would be relying on my having gotten the right tickets at 4 AM when our bus leaves.
I bike out of the depot. I have to do something for these people. I circle around to count how many workers are behind the counter. I am almost hit by a bus AND a taxi. I don't want to get them any of the pre-wrapped gifts they sell at the train station. It's so cold and informal. We've been through so much together. I make it over to a nearby coffee shop. I grab a half-dozen of the most delicious-looking thing there: cinnamon rolls.
The coffee shop lady keeps asking questions -- too many for a purchase of 6 pastries. All I can understand is, "(Something something), is that all right?" Yes, whatever. Arsenic in the cinnamon? No problem. My shirt's on fire? Just shove the rolls in the bag, sweetheart.
I bike back to the depot, slaloming between buses and taxis. The man, bless his heart, stands right up when he sees me, attentive to my needs. Which is different from what I might have done in this situation, namely hide under the desk with my hands over my ears screaming "La la la, I can't hear you!" (translation: "Ra ra ra, kikimasen!")
He sees my bag of cinnamon rolls. "No, no," he shouts in Japanese, smiling and waving his hand in front of his face. Ha ha, but he has a big desk in front of him. I smile and set them on the counter. I apologize a final time, gesture that they're for everyone who had to put up with me, and back out of the depot bowing.
I start to bike home in the rain, which is refreshing again. A gas station attendant sees me and says "Good evening" in Japanese. This makes my night.
I get lost on the way back, but some high school kids point me back in the right direction. On this new road, I see a restaurant a few kids mentioned in their essays during our food chapter. For some reason, I even remember what they said was good on the menu, so I get it. At the drink bar, two young Japanese boys approach just before me. I'm still deciding what I want while the first boy fills his glass, but then the tiny one holds his hand out and says, "Dozo," meaning "please" for me to go in front of him.
Natsumi might not have a tough time in Australia, after all. Yeah, I feel lost and confused and like I'm doing the wrong thing most of the time, but it's not for lack of people's politeness and willing to help out their fellow man.
That, or when she gets back, I can use her experience as a stranger in a strange land to guilt her into Japanese conversation practice with me! Yes!
January 27, 2008
I went back and read all my posts over the last year, and I noticed a very obvious difference in my pre-Japan posts. I can't put my finger on it, but I think I liked the day-to-day drudgery a little more. The post-Japan posts are so epic, which a lot of my life feels like, but you got to give props to daily life.
My personal journal, the red-headed stepchild of my pile of notebooks, is ridiculously empty in my documentation of daily happenings. It's mostly "Then a long, boring week of teaching happened, where I realized I'm a sham, and everyone here is a better teacher than me, but then the weekend came and I went to a magical temple and hung out with my friends and got the will to keep on living somehow." And then 20 more pages on the magical temple.
But what I enjoy reading most are the monotony that is my life, and I realize now that monotony doesn't have to be boring. Just because my life is routine doesn't mean it's not interesting. So I guess my one resolution is to embrace the monotony. Power to the drivel!
And now, here are the things I did in the past year, and what I've now learned.
January
-Final Fantasy 12 was really fun.
-George Carlin should have shut up long ago.
-I miss being in musicals.
Looking back
-Not having a game system or TV bigger than a shoebox in Japan is really sad.
-At least I used to have access to books in English.
-I love karaoke.
February
-Turbo Tax is a pain. Owing the government money is a bigger pain.
-People on the Food Network piss me off.
-Will what I blog come back to haunt me?
Looking back
-Thinking about doing my taxes while in Japan makes me want to slit my wrists.
-We have food on TV here, but unfortunately, it looks like the food that's served in restaurants, ofttimes still alive. Pizza please! It's $30 and has corn and mayo on it, but at least it doesn't have tentacles! Usually.
-Will I remember enough about my co-workers and students to blog about them when I leave?
March
-Breaking news: The DMV sucks ass.
-I like to bitch about customer service.
-People who make grammar mistakes piss me off.
-The movie 300 was meh.
-How I almost got conned.
-Zen and the art of MMORPGs.
Looking back
-Breaking news: Not having a car sucks ass. (But I'm rich and muscular!)
-I bend over and take crappy customer service and ask for "motto kudasai"! (more please!) 30 days to hook up my internet! Domo Arigato, Mr. YahooBB!
-People who make grammar mistakes make me unrealistically happy. At least they're trying to talk to me!
-The movie Sweeney Todd was meh. Damn you, Tim Burton. Cutting all my favorite songs.
-I have probably been conned here due to my unfortunate habit of adding extra zeros to the end of prices.
-Zelda and the art of Not Being Able to Finish A Game for 9-year-olds: The Why Kevin Has No Respect For Me Story
April
-I admit to everyone I'd secretly been applying to Japan all along.
-I discover that people latch onto countries because it makes them cooler.
Looking back
-I admit that not all Japanese life is green tea and onsens. Who knew?
-I discover that I live in the Iowa of Japan. I am not sure what that makes me.
May
-I do a lot of crafty stuff.
-I bitch about the mispronunciation of people's names.
Looking back
-I barely have time to watch a Strong Bad email when I get home from work.
-I take what I can get, even if most Japanese people think it's a hilarious joke to pronounce my name like the beginning of the song "Rawhide". (And then proceed to sing the song "Rawhide") Rorin', rorin', rorin'.
June
-Finished being a closed captioner! No more stabbing my eyes out trying to figure what they're saying on Home Improvement television shows.
-Start up Theater Camp.
Looking back
-I kind of miss being competent at my job.
-Just finished the Theater Camp 2008 website.
July
-Camp is fun, even if I have to hate everyone for the last week.
-My friends really care about me. Or they just like to be invited to parties. (IN MY HONOR!)
-I hop on a plane to Japan, unknowingly providing every Japanese person's first question they ask when they meet me: When did you come to Japan?
Looking back
-I'm going to miss camp AND hating everyone. Ah, I'm sure I can find someone to hate.
-I realize that I'm really going to miss my friends here. I hope we can stay in touch. God bless facebook.
-I have been in Japan since July! Amerika kara kimashita!
August
-I realize that it is possible to hate a season. :( I will never complain about being hot in the states again.
-I develop an unhealthy addiction to watching Buffy, and I find solace in reading the final Harry Potter.
Looking back
-I still will never complain about being hot in the states. Winter is nothing compared to the discomfort I felt in August. At least now I have 2 nice heaters to keep my house to a Normal Human Range Temperature.
-I wish I could leave school now to watch more Buffy and read more Harry Potter. :(
September
-I talk about the JET application and interview process, mentioning a few snarky forum members who made my application time stressful.
-I trick my new friends into liking me by blogging about what I like about them. It's a sneaky web we weave.
Looking back
-I have become a snarky member of the internet forum community where anyone whose opinion differs from mine is a big moron and also probably fat.
-I have chosen wisely. I still like all the people I high-schoolishly listed as my BFFs!
October
-I went to the Tokyo Game Show and stayed in a capsule hotel!
-I am learning Japanese! But nothing I will ever use.
-Halloween is fun, even if no one knows what you are.
Looking back
-I have so many more places I need to travel.
-Still no Japanese I can use, but I can tell you what word you say if you're counting fish...
-Winter is fun, because I can pull my hood up, and no one can tell I'm a foreigner.
November
-I possibly break a sushi ordering machine.
-Spiders take over the my apartment.
-I throw a delightful first Thanksgiving with my friends!
Looking back
-I still go to that sushi place weekly, so if I broke it, their smiles hide everything.
-One spider survived the winter mass exodus. Until I saw him...
-Some friends just invited me over to relive that traditional Thanksgiving treat, tacos!
December
-Melissa comes to visit. I drag her around town, ignoring that she might have jetlag.
-We have a kickin' ALT party in our prefecture.
-I fly home, spending what seems like a week in airports around the world.
Looking back
-Oh, I have learned so much since 28 days ago! I was so young then, so full of life and hope! But now I've matured and learned lessons I will carry on with me for the rest of my days.
And that's my year. Another new year's resolution is to silently fume that I get more comments on my three-sentence-long blogs in broken Japanese than I get here. So, yeah, get on that!
January 22, 2008
Okay, so I've been getting a little tired of hand resizing all of my pictures, especially since they lose such image quality when I shrink them down to fit on a nice page hosted by me.
I fought and fought for all these years, but I'm considering making the switch to flickr permanent.
The comments are my favorite part, so I can still kind of view them in the same format, only you would now be able to click on the ones that you'd want to see more detail on.
Tell me what you think of the switch.
Here's my first batch of pictures from last weekend's Nagano trip. It sure was easy to upload them all, so if it's just as easy for you to click, I'll keep posting my photosets there.
And go!
January 20, 2008
Best roommates ever!
More details to come on the coolest ski trip in the Eastern Hemisphere. This trip was definitely jumbo/LARGE!
January 08, 2008
Well, this is awkward, isn't it?
Please believe me when I say that this is the first moment free I have had since my last update...almost a month ago. Well, the first free moment I have had not stressing out about letting myself relax enough. Yes, I stress about not relaxing. I also make bulleted lists on different ways to best relax, set email reminders to remind me that I need to be relaxing, and pencil in a schedule of relaxing in front of various people or electronics.
Don't think you haven't escaped a lame-o Year-In-Review post like all the Blogging Blogs I read warn me that viewers hate (YES, I read blogging blogs!), because it's a-comin'. I only have the time NOW because I have suddenly gotten over the crippling fear of coming up with a lesson plan for tomorrow, even though I'm finished with the textbook! What do you talk about when you're finished with the text? In high school, we watched movies and had parties and went on internships. In Japan, I guess you give speeches and hear Lauren-sensei reciting wikipedia entries on Martin Luther King Jr.
Advantage: The US of A.
Anyway, I'm off to a Japanese lesson soon, but I wanted to recount a highlight of my trip back to the states.
I was sitting at Island's Restaurant in Los Angeles with Melissa, and the Caucasian waiter came to take our order. Without thinking, I leaned over to her and asked, "How do you order the Fries Appetizer with raw onions?"
Melissa and the waiter exchanged a look for a moment, and Melissa, being sensitive to my bi-cultural/geographical confusion, shouted, "You say that! He speaks English just like you!"
Now, in my albeit weak defense, I believe what I meant was that there was a special way she and her roommate Traci always ordered this appetizer, and I wasn't sure if I were saying the right thing. Was I supposed to say white chopped onions? Chives are raw onions, too, and we didn't want those.
But, yes, I do realize that I fell a little too easily into my routine in Japan of freezing in the headlights at the terror of ordering a menu item from a person paid to bring them to me.
Then today in Japan, as I was bowing at the morning meeting in the gymnasium, it occurred to me that the way I bowed was directly dictated by Shredder's speech to the Foot Clan in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie. I bowed low, but I never let my head drop or lost eye contact just in case my opponent (the 70-year-old principal, in this case) felt like roundhouse kicking in my face.
And I realized that, at least for next year or so, I will continue to do everything wrong, culturally, no matter what country I'm in.