Well, the Christmas season is nigh, and I am stuck wondering how Penny Arcade gets swanky visitors who donate to things like Child's Play, enough so to even fund a fucking Fundraiser dinner, and how I get stuck with viewers that like to tell me about what happened in their days or what pop-ups they just saw or how they're related to me.
Then, of course, I feel guilty for having a wishlist on my site instead of donating proceeds to charity like Caoine.org or to sick kids like Penny Arcade. Then I feel bad for coming up with a joke that consisted of me insisting that if you bought something for me off my wishlist, I promise to decidedly *not* give cancer to children unless by "cancer" you mean "repeated kicks to the head" and "children" you mean "every kid who sat behind me on all four of my plane rides in the past week." And then that snowballs into guilt over not updating, and then the guilt compounds into a shame spiral, and I finally have learned the meaning of Christmas.
In other news, I am replaying FF8 (ffff-ffff-fate) and let me tell you -- I wish Triple Triad were an actual game. Man, do I kick ass.
Same with Pazaak in Kotor.
Sometimes I get so good at minigames, I wonder why I even go outside.
Mmm, interestinger update later?
Time will tell.
(Time: No. And "interestinger" is not a word.)
Mornin' websurfers.
This update is coming atcha from beautiful Colorado, in a dirty frat house, on a dirty mac.
I hope it finds you all well.
The surreality of having just spent the night in the bed my brother has no doubt shared with countless sorority girls is only compounded by the oddness of listening to his iTunes that is chock full of bands such as "deftones" and "Bright Eyes" and "Modest Mouse" and "Other music that trendy people listen to."
I'm up bright and early so's I can go to his campus store to fulfill my obsession with purchasing college-themed apparel, though-not-necissarily-the-college-I-actually-attended. I also look forward to "grubbin'," as the kids say, at some college town restaurant like "The Hangover Cure" or "Morning-After Muffins" or "Burritos So Cheap, You Will Literally Shit Your Pants; Bathrooms Are For Staff Only."
This has seemingly been a college week for me, because I was called out of town on a gig last weekend in a firehall of the town of Ramey, Pennsylvania (Motto: Even We Can't Find Our Goddamn Firehall), and I brought along with me the veritable Matt Little to do a guest set, because I know he's been wanting to visit his old stomping grounds in State College.
He provided me with good accompaniment and better humor as we drove through the Town That Time Forgot where our cell phones stopped working, and I'm pretty sure we got a few odd looks for driving around town on something that wasn't a Quad or a tractor.
The gig was fine, I suppose, and we set off to State College so Matt's friends that still lived there could show me what college was really about (drinking) as I constantly thought back to what *my* college experience was all about (staying locked in my room, resenting my friends that were out drinking).
Fun was had, good times by all, and for you, I present another patented phlog documenting my time.
Yes, I forgot to upload it when I was home. My bad.
Well, now I'm going to take a shower in a sketchy-ass disease-ridden pit of despair they call "showers."
I hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving.
I plan to. I have a lot to be thankful for.
If I love fruit juice so much, why don't I marry it?
First, kitties, I'd like to start this blog out on a sad note if I could.
Last night, my great uncle John died. I didn't know him very well, and we knew it was coming, but in my childhood memories, he was always a very classy man who knew how to make us kids laugh.
If they have internet connections in heaven, I'd just like him to know he's in my thoughts and wish him the best.
Now, onto lighter things.
I have some phlogs for your appreciation or jealousy or whatever they induce you to emote.
First, is Felicia and my trip to New York. Enjoy.
Second is a collection of me with famous comedians. Some are repeats from the New York trip, but I can hardly have one grouping omit any from either.
I have also reshuffled my cams. I took out cams that haven't been updated in months, broken links, and people I generally find vapid.
The rest of the Luckies I left on were rearranged, and I make no qualms about how I chose to re-order them.
The first four pages or so are peppered with people whose stats add up highest in the areas of Hit Points (my closest friends), Magic Points (people who have helped out with my site), Skill (people who could possibly help out my inter-career), and Vitality (people with whom I want to have sex).
After that is basically a random sampling of people who occasionally have interesting cams, and the last pages are people I'd feel guilty for baleeting, due to the number of hits I've gotten from their sites.
I'm going to go try out Tales of Symphonia, likely hate it, and then try to start Shenmue from the beginning and wish KOTOR 2 were out already.
Before I go, let me give a shoutout to MattDX3 and my homies at British Airways. Spit spot! Cheerio! Can my dad have a job with you guys when gay-ass Pittsburgh drives USAirways into the ground?
Well, let me first get this out of the way -- Star Wars 3 trailer.
It was passed onto me, and I have been asked to spread it to the masses, seemingly regardless of the fact that no one comes here because I never update anymore.
I have a lot of things to tell you guys, but my thoughts are jumping around in my head too much to align them into a cohesive update, so I will merely tell you of things to come.
I've been wanting so badly to tell you guys about my job, because it's actually pretty interesting, but, like every other cautionary-tale-abiding netizen, I didn't want to get dooced. I had to sign a whole ream of nondisclosure crap, but then the Pittsburgh Post Gazette just did this huge story on my company, so I figured maybe I could mention a few interesting things about a day in the life of me.
Also, thanks to the gent who provided y'all with the Star Wars trailer, I am now able to scan every picture I've ever had, so I've been scanning and resizing and uploading pictures from Felicia and my New York trip from last May, a phlog of every comedian I've ever met, and tons of other funnenized content for your optical pleasure.
So I've been doing that, PLUS, I'm designing a section for Felicia, which means html troubleshooting, plus scanning and uploading pictures of HER wacky ass.
What else...
Oh, yeah, I just had another week at the Funny Bone. (Yay!)
I hosted for the veritable Ryan Dalton and the unadjectivable Mike Lukas.
It was a ton of fun, and I think I learned a lot, but I wish I had learned more.
I still felt off the whole week.
My other impending feeling of doom didn't really come to pass (depending on your political perspective), but I definitely felt one-off the whole week.
I don't know how else to explain it.
Little wierd things happened that added up to make my world surreal that probably wouldn't be noticed by anyone but me.
Like not having my normal parking space for the first time in 9 months, seeing 3 buses break down right in front of me in one day, and walking into work to find a stairwell full of dead bees. THAT kind of thing, YOU know.
My friend Becca's dad said it best -- the one-off feeling.
She's 20, and she met her biological father for the first time about 6 months ago.
Her mom up and moved out of state, and so she went on a quest to find her real dad, who didn't even really knew she existed, since her mom and her dad broke up before she was born.
Anyway, Becca's kind of a wacky character herself, sort of a goth Daria that mixed a Powerpuff girl...if that sort of combination can even exist.
Anyway, the day she tracked down her dad, his mother was there to verify that in fact, she knew of Becca's hidden birth, and she was telling the truth, and they should get to know each other.
Her dad replied, "I knew something weird was gonna happen today, because when I was taking my usual outdoor walk, I fell into a creek."
That was what my whole last week was like.
In other news, today was my boyfriend, Jack Osbourne's 19th birthday (hot).
I haven't called him yet to give him his present (me), but the night is young, and so is he.
Well, kids, that was a little taste of things to come.
Life is good for me right now. Let's hope I don't fuck anything up.
I trust everyone had a lovely All Hallow's Eve.
I dressed up as Ashlee Simpson and went around blaming embarrasing mistakes on everyone around me!
Hah! Look at me! I'm topical!
Just kidding! I was Ace Ventura again, because if I shell out 6 bucks at a thrift store a year ago, you'd better be DAMN sure I'm wearing THAT shit again.
So, I wore my pink tutu and hawaiian shirt underneath a thick blanket as I sat out in the freezing cold with my mom's neighbors/only friends/link to outside world as they watched the Steeler game on a television, told the score to all the long-faced dads, and argued about politics.
It made me sick. Even the ones I agreed with. Especially the ones I agreed with. Because it makes me some sort of monster for siding with them and their hate for all things different.
I am not scared for the outcome of the election (here I go again), but I am scared for the OUTCOME of the election.
See, the difference is the caps lock.
Allow me to be fucking Nostradamus here for a minute, I have had my impending doom feeling again (Update, the last one was a fluke. See, I'll admit when it's Braxton Hicks Impending Doom Feelings), and this one's not too hard to predict.
SOME shit is going to go down, whether it's fisticuffs, litigations, riots, god knows what else.
Re-counts, angry Americans, cats and dogs living together, UGH, someone just KNOCK me out and wake me up in a month, when...well, when everyone still hates everyone.
Next update: We never speak of any of this again!