Seth: don't send me things like that again

I don't care about ducks

unless I'm eating them

my parents were wondering what I was doing when I was talking to them - and I had to tell them that my idiot friend sent me an article about ducks in Japan

========

Mom: suuppppppppp?
Lauren: don't say that
Mom: hey, I'm hip
Lauren: you're gonna break a hip is what you're gonna do
Mom: ffffffffff
Lauren: don't hiss
my friend seth wants to hang in hawaii before we go back
Mom: who is this Seth
Lauren: seth is my friend
he's always yelling at me because kevin met you and he didn't
Mom: well--we ARE quite popular...
lol
send me pic
Lauren: what pic
of seth?
Mom: right
is he someone special?
Lauren: no, Mom
(pic sent)

Mom: does he look a bit like Sam??
Lauren: not really
he's mean to me like sam, but mean friends are funny
Mom: t w i s t e d
Lauren: psh
it's from you!
you always make fun of me, and it's funny
Mom: don't say I'm like that
Lauren: i look fat in that picture
Mom: I'm mean to you?
Lauren: oh, i look much better here
look at this picture (pic sent)
I JUST TOLD YOU I THINK IT'S FUNNY
i'm glad i'm not in a dumb family where everyone minces around and freshens tea
Mom: well... it's true- I don't like tea

Lauren: are you looking at the pictures? that's what's important here
actually i look really hot there
you should frame that
Mom: but never, ever be attracted to someone who is mean to you
Lauren: i'll keep that in mind
Mom: I think Seth is really cute
and thin
and tall
Lauren: he's neurotic
he's exactly woody allen
Mom: lol
u mean not self confident?
Lauren: oh, no, he is
he just complains a lot
and gets annoyed at strange things
Mom: who is the goofy guy standing behind him
Lauren: nick the canadian
Mom: o
Lauren: he hates our freedom
Mom: tee hee
what strange things does Seth complain about

Lauren: once he debated with kevin and dave for 3 hours about how to travel to tokyo: bus or train, and he was the devil's advocate
whenever he convinced them, he suddenly said like "well, but maybe it WOULD be cheaper...."
or "maybe it WOULD be faster to do this..."
but he wasn't committing
and kevin and dave were going insane
and seth would go play a video game and come back and question their plan
not in a mean way, but everyone wants everyone to be happy, and it's hard
and THEN
the next day
when they ended up doing what HE wanted to do
he missed the train and ended up coming later
Mom: lol
Lauren: and was shocked when kevin and dave were incredulous
Mom: do
not
say
incredulous
it gives me goose bumps
Lauren: what is wrong with you?
Mom: hee
tee