Since I am the number 1 Google hit for "TLG Hotline" and that is the only cryptic information left on many people's credit cards, billing them monthly for $9.99, many net-savvy individuals stumble across my site and e-mail me frantically since I once boasted that I had rid them from my life.

Well, I'm going to attempt to defer some e-mails from my inbox and just tell you what I did to get the money credited back to me.

The story starts about four years ago, back when I was fresh out of college, and before I was a savvy consumer.

I got a check in the mail for $2 from what looked like my credit card company, Chase. Being a poor member of the service industry, I cashed it. A few months later, I noticed a $9.99 charge I didn't recognize on my statement. Flipping through old statements, I noticed it had been there for a few months. I called Chase, and they told me that technically, I had signed up for it by cashing the check, but I was able to work it out. They refunded me all charges for the past months. They admitted that they worked in connection with this third-party company that offered "credit protection." I'm still not sure what that means, but I've gathered that it has something to do with them taking lots of money from me and not protecting me at all and possibly abusing baby kittens.

Fast forward two years, during which time I had received many more fake checks and quickly shredded each one. One month, I happened to notice another TLG hotline charge, this time going back 4 months. When I called Chase, they informed me that they had cut ties with TLG, but they would report the "disputed" charges for that month.

By the next statement, I had yet another charge of $9.99, but also a credit for $9.99.

I called Chase again, and they said they would put the back-charged $39.96 in dispute, but I wouldn't actually be refunded the money until the situation was resolved between me and TLG.

I wish I could tell you that I then informed the unhelpful Chase representative that they should change their jingle from "Free to do what I want any old time" to add "Unless what I want is to not have $40 stolen from me by two asshole companies," but I was only able to think of that hilarious addition several hours later.

Anyway, my years of detective training (watching "Forensic Files") paid off, and the 800 number on my statement was indeed the TLG Hotline. I talked to a bunch of representatives reading from a paper. I was polite, but none of them seemed to understand the problem, or why I didn't like paying them money each month for nothing at all.

When I finally spoke to a manager, he told me that I had signed up for the service myself. I told them that I had been tricked by the check-cashing before, and I learned from that and would never have done it again. He kept insisting that I had asked for it, but I was adamant about not wanting it and wanting a refund.

"Well, we don't authorize refunds that over the phone," he informed me. The reason for this, although he didn't verify this to me, was that he couldn't authorize it because he wasn't at a desk and was in fact swimming Scrooge McDuck-style on a mound of illicit money, spitting out coins above his head like a fountain.

He told me I would have to fax a request. I got his name, number, and fax number, and I sent it that same day.

Another month passes. I get my credit card statement, and -- you might want to remain seated for this shocker -- there was no credit on it! I call up TLG again, not a happy, calm consumer at this point. After waltzing with the representatives, I finally spoke to another manager, who said they had not received my fax, and now I would have to send another request in the form of a letter.

Here is the letter I sent, original bold and all.
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To whom it may concern,

I am writing in hopes to resolve my dispute over the charge of $39.96 since $9.99 has been appearing on my Chase Credit Card bill starting in the 10/11/05-11/10/05 statement and occurring up until my current 03/11/06-04/10/06 statement (a total of 5 months).
April's statement (03/11/06-04/10/06) actually has a $9.99 credit on it (for the date of 3/20), even though there is another charge on it (from 3/13) of $9.99, so that month evens itself out. This credit appears as a result of a call I made when I received the previous month's statement, which I assume happened between the 13th and the 20th, which explains why I was still charged. (Cancellation number XXXXX)

However, the credit to my account should have been 49.95 ($9.99 x 5 months). Since this last month was credited back as $9.99, I am now owed $39.96. ($49.95 - $9.99 = $39.96)

I was told by a representative that you have a signed document of mine from August requesting to be signed up for your service. I have been tricked before by your company, and I learned my lesson with the first batch of multiple phone calls needed to cancel that, so I am unsure as to why I would willingly sign myself up for that again.

I am not sure how you would have a signed document from me signing me up for your services, but it was completely in error. Please inform my credit card company that this has been an error and credit my account with $39.96. Thank you.

I already sent you this exact letter in a fax last month on April 17th. The refund of $39.96 has not appeared on my statement as of yet, and a call on May 6th informed me that you "didn't receive" my fax. Please understand my frustration and resolve this matter QUICKLY.

Last month's credit card statement stated, "Payment of amount in dispute $39.96 not required," which gave me hope that my needs were being addressed, however I never received the actual refund. I am owed $39.96. My email is XXXX. My telephone number is XXXX. My address is below. There is simply no excuse for avoiding my request this time.

Signed,
Lauren
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Yeah, my OCD kicked in while writing the letter, and I admitted to myself that, while slim, there was a chance that I may have sleepwalked to my mailbox, signed the check, then sleepdrove to my bank and cashed it. I know I didn't do this, but they were just so damn adamant that I had, I was doubting myself. I really don't need 2 bucks that bad.

The happy ending here is that I eventually did get refunded, regardless of my snarky letter including extraneous bold text and insulting basic addition.
The sad ending is that this company still exists, and old ladies are constantly e-mailing me for help because I pop up on Google instead of the actual company.

The reason for this is that the actual name of the company is Trilegiant. From their website, I can't really tell what they think they do.
So, for anyone else who comes across this, the number I used to contact them is 800-633-3985.

The address I used was:

Attention: Support Service
Credit Card Hotline
PO Box 6100
Westerville, OH 43086

In conclusion, read your credit card statements, and don't cash checks sent to you from your credit card company. Then if someone says you did, in fact, cash a check from your credit card company and you're sure you didn't, call up the company, speak to the highest person you can reach on the phone, and inform them that you're switching credit cards because you don't appreciate companies that accuse you of lying. Yeah! Damn the man!