In the past, I have hilariously screwed myself by posting things like "Gee, my website sure is generating a lot of hits for [character from Final Fantasy] [naughty word rhyming with "dornography"]!" And then, that page ends up being my most hit page ever, and it's a vicious internet circle.

Well, I'm sorry, but I have hit on some search strings that I cannot simply keep to myself and chuckle about. Some...kind of frighten me. So I'll pick out the best of the best.

Search Strings that have come to the right place:
iamgreat.com
quirky bitch
cartoon bees

Search strings that make me wonder why they come to me for help:
wearing a thick sweater
why that seems so unique nightmare before christmas
back of darth vader s head
what is the color for gluttony?
why is a green dress cruel
old cartoon with a lion running a marathon
how long do you go to school to be a dentist?
can t stop sneezing

Search strings of people who will be very disappointed with my site:
trannies.com
free cunilingus lesson
nood girle
lesbeans making out
masturbate after cooking
mind of mencia nice guy

Search strings of people that need to be reported to the police:
barely legal tweak crystal
what drowning does to your body when you survive

Wildcards!:
terry shivago
cruisin exotica
freenaked strawberry
harlan williams with a steelers
jokes containing the word clap or clapping
oats breast

The rest are either song lyrics that I have sneaked into my posts or they're tons of hits from my old comedian friends googling themselves and thinking I don't notice. Maybe I should talk about them more often, just to give them something to read.

Keep giving me weirdo hits, weirdos!