Angry Letters to the Editor
May 04, 2005

I just sent the following letter to usatoday.com, and I'm just sure I'm going to get a quick and apologetic response...(eyes rolling out of my head)

Movie Spoilers ahead. A lot.

"Dear USA Today,

I just want to thank Claudia Puig for giving away the end to the Harry Potter movie.

No paragraph in a review should ever, EVER begin with "For the climactic scene in which..." and then give away a supporting character dying.

Movie reviews are getting so out of hand, that they force regular people like me to quickly flip past any movie section, lest the spread be a huge picture of the main characters and huge headline giving away a plot secret. Causing people to furiously flip past sections should be something journalists generally want to avoid.

If Claudia is so eager to brag that she saw the premiere and knows what happens or got to interview Daniel Radcliffe, I suggest she get ahead of the game and write an article on how < big spoiler I left in the letter, but am omitting here >
She should also mention to anyone who didn't catch it a decade ago, that Keyser Soze is Kevin Spacey and the chick is really a guy from "The Crying Game." Also: Rosebud is the name of Kane's sled.
Why should any of us see movies anymore?
Send my thanks to Claudia Puig."

I left out of the letter my wishes that Claudia Puig and her whole family die in a fire, but I assume it was implied.

Posted by Kitsune at May 4, 2005 11:26 AM | digg this



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I totally agree with you, but thanks for ruining the Usual Suspects for me....and I just finally rented it. :-( lol jk Oh and hey...Green Day is still fucking cool.

Posted by: Andrew
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Man I have no problem with spoilers at all... I mean I know how movies like Apollo 13 would end, I knew the twist of The Sixth Sense, I still enjoy the MOVIE, it's not all about the end, it's about the ride there.

Posted by: Gobo
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Yeah, but I warned that there were spoilers ahead.
I of course also realize that I said I always flip past the movie section, so how did I read this one? I caved, and I felt I had nothing to lose since I had read the book.

I enjoy the ride, too, but if you already know how a character is going to end up, it's not a neat twist.

Posted by: Kitsune
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you should've added the thing about soilent green in there.

Posted by: Felicia
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Soylent Green is people?

Posted by: Likwidflame
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I've actually written into my local paper about the same thing as well. They never replied to my letter... but they know... they know!

Posted by: wcr
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The worst possible thing that can happen is for me to read a review of a movie and have it outline the whole GODDAMN PLOT.

This is why I don't read the newspaper anymore.

Posted by: FordDent
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Well FordDent, then that's not a movie review. That's a synopsis. The person that writes that needs to learn how to differentiate or their editor needs how to learn to do their job.

Posted by: Matt
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So since you've already read the book, I don't see why finding out that a 'supporting character dies' would upset you so. Unless, of course, you're so self-righteous that you feel the need to speak up on behalf of the silent masses that haven't read the book and might have their movie-going experience spoiled.

Posted by: SpankyD
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I *was* speaking on behalf of all the silent masses who haven't seen the movie in a hope that this sort of thing wouldn't ruin a future movie I planned to see.

But since I recognize your screenname, you must have been here before, so if you don't like me, I'm wondering why my being self-righteous would upset you so. Unless you are being self-righteous enough to warn all the first-time visitors to this site not to come back because I'm self-righteous.

Posted by: Kitsune
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Way to tell 'em Kit.

*hides behind Kit's magical wrath*

Posted by: Likwidflame
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At the end, the farmer decides not to kill Babe, but make him a sheepherder dog for his sheep.

Posted by: Sock Puppet
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I actually had the end to Citizen Kane ruined for me by an episode of the "Ghostbusters" cartoon when I was a child.

Posted by: Matthew
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good letter

Posted by: jr
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Signed. A review should have more to do with the special effects and over all flow of the movie instead of a step by step playback of the entire plot. Spoilers that big are ridiculous. The editor did a wonderful job, obviously.

Posted by: Theotus
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Man, I get most movies spoilt for me. My friends are the caring, sharing type.

Posted by: 6-foot Hobbit
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Kitsune I love you, but you would have ruined the movie for yourself had you actually read the books it was based on. If you should be blaming anyone for spoiling the movie, blame J.K. Rowling or whatever the hell her name is.

Posted by: Caz
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I think the point is that a 'review' contained spoilers, and this movie in particular is just an example. The proverbial 'straw', I guess.

Perhaps Puig assumed that anyone who would be interested in this movie had already read the book, and didn't feel that important plot points were sacred.

Posted by: 6-foot Hobbit
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Caz, I love you, too, but I have "actually" read all the books, twice, and have pre-ordered the sixth.

The point was to prevent future movies from being ruined that didn't happen to be best-selling books that I'd read.

Posted by: Kitsune
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that's a stupid thing for somebody to do; i could only hope that somehow through sheer lack of brain function, she simply didn't realize that she was giving away the ending to a movie, and neither did her publisher. but that would be wacky, like a situation where unicorns exist

Posted by: jed
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I agree with you...this is out of hand. Recently I read Kevin Smith's (writer director of Clerks/Mallrats, etc.) review of the upcoming Star Wars Episode 3, and the guy pretty much caughed up evey single exciting revelation that George Lucas put up his sleeve for this movie. It didn't spoil it for me (since I always read the book first), but I am sure a ton of fans wanted to hear Kevin Smith's opinion on the fil because the guy is clearly a fan without having ALL of the major plot points spoiled. His review was more of a "ha,ha...I saw this sick ass movie, and here is what happened" sort of thing.

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Posted by: s
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