Let me just say that I am like two degrees of separation from this guy who wrote the fake paper for some dumb chick, then posted it on the interweb, and you crazy interkids out there ganged up on her and made her cry.
It was so obviously a fake paper, and it's no secret that when you plagarize, DUH, and ask someone you don't even know, DUH, you might, DUH, get caught.
So apparently, after he posted this, InterMinions went out and called her and her dean and her mom and grandmother and dentist and now she might get expelled and her life is ruined!!
The internet is awesome.

Anyway, it's kind of neat that I almost know this person who shot into the sky of internet popularity in like one day. It's weird. It's so easy to forget that the internet contains, you know, real people.

In other news, Matt Little ruined the movie "Blade Runner" for me today.
A little note for you people out there who like to ruin movies accidentally: The best thing for you to do when you've made this heinous faux pas, is just pretend you didn't.
Just change the subject. Act like it's not a big deal.

See, because I wasn't really even listening to him until he started gasping and apologizing and telling me he knows how much I hate it when people ruin movies for me.
I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN NOTICED, but then my brain Tivo rewinded and played the sound bite over and over and now I can only hope I catch amnesia.
So, in conclusion, you should call Matt's dean and get him expelled and make him cry.

To end this entry on a sad note, I have heard through the grapevine of comics that Mitch Hedberg died today.
I can't find any websites on it, and I realize that April Fool's Day is close upon us, but that's the word on the street, and I will be happy to retract it when I am proven wrong.
Comics are known for their love of "practical jokes" and "lies," but I tend to believe this one, because, well, was it much of a shocker when Lenny Bruce or Chris Farley or John Belushi went to the big comedy club in the sky?

Anyway, I hope it's not true.

Update: I still can't find anything on it, so I'm inclined to believe it's not true. Good.

Update Part Deux: Okay, another comedian unrelated to the one I got the first info from called me at 7 A.M. telling me that he heard about it on the radio...yet, still nothing on any website ever.
Does the radio station read this blog? Is this an elaborate hoax to trick gullible Lauren? Are scientists working in secret to create a race of zombie comedians?
...Too soon?

Update Part Three: The Search For Curly's Gold: Comedy Central.com is displaying a banner tinier than my campic, making me start to believe it.
Criminy, people.
Is it in bad taste to suggest that you have to be in a persistent vegitative state to get any press around here?
I know, and I'm sayin' it anyway!