HoneyBeeManor: We're boiling our hands!!

We're boiling our hands!!
March 07, 2005

Some new things I just realized I hate:
-People who wear "Vote for Pedro" shirts.
-Any montage in movies or television wherein the person must workout and bulk up, and they end up running up stairs of some capital building in a jogging suit.
-Natalie Teeger.
-Mitch Hedberg. Sorry, I'm not into drugs. I'm Lauren, man, not Bob Dylan.
Dad: Lauren, do you even know who Bob Dylan is?
Lauren: No. But I know he died of drugs.
Dad: Lauren, Bob Dylan's alive and well. I produced his last 3 albums.
Lauren: Oh, you mean Uncle Robert?
Dad: Yeah.
Lauren: Oh, he didn't die of drugs.

Things I just realized I love:
-Purposely saying nonsense words to the automated help lines so they just give up and connect me with an agent. Sometimes I just make a loud sneeze noise!
-The TV show "Home Movies." H. Jon Benjamin, you've finally found a way to fill the Dr. Katz-shaped hole in my heart.
-Knitting is fucking METAL.
-Cooking! I'm such a good little wife.
-http://gorillamask.net/ Where have you been all my life?
-The IRS. Thanks for the refund, CHUMPS! AHAHAHA!

Posted by Kitsune at March 7, 2005 07:47 PM | digg this

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Holy crap, Bob Dylan's your uncle!?

Posted by: likwidflame
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Heh I do that with the bus line's automated phone thingy. "Where are you departing from?" "PA-POW!" "I'm sorry, I don't understand. Please hold while I connect you with an operator."

Oh, Mercy.

Posted by: 6-foot Hobbit
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My dear Zhubin,
Mitch Hedberg is so popular and such a shy, fragile, self-loather at heart, that he has descended into the world of hard drugs.
Whenever someone IMs me letting me know they're about to see him, I always ask how it was the next day.
If he didn't spend the time onstage in a drunken or drug-addled stupor, he merely walked right offstage in the middle of his act, or you couldn't understand his jokes, because he was so strung out and mumbling. He's disappointed a lot of people, me included.
Plenty of comedians do drugs, but when you let it affect your act, that's just unprofessional.
I'm dismayed, too. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Whatever, now we have Mitch Hedberg Light (Demitri Martin).

Posted by: Kitsune
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Its very rare I'll come across a cartoon I don't like but Home Movies just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe its because I always fall asleep before it comes on and I am awoken by the high pitched whining of their voices that makes me hate it so. What can I say after Family Guy and Futurama I'm all laughed out.

Posted by: wcr
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I watch it at any hour of the day.

Posted by: Kitsune
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You seamed to leave out that you love underaged boys.

Posted by: Calvy the Kid
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I didn't just realize that, you silly thing.

Dear Cops,
Just a joke!

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Where are the naked pictures you promised? oh and you have to dead links to page five and six in your picture page

Posted by: Apoq
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I've heard tales of Mitch Hedberg shows where half of it is performed by him while he's laying on the stage. I've heard similar tales of him doing jokes while backstage, off the stage, behind curtains, etc. and sometimes just failing to make it from the beginning of a joke to the end of it... which I guess is extra scary considering they are usually about 8 words long.

Have you seen him live recently? I haven't, so I can only go by what other people have told me. Even if he turns out to be worse than he supposedly is, I still don't think I could actually hate him. I think he has reached un-hatable status with me. My mom, my dad, and Mitch Hedberg may be the only people to share this status.

And it's Demetri Martin, by the way. Two e's, one i. I was almost not gonna point this out for fear that I may have incorrectly used a comma or something somewhere earlier in this comment.

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Robert Zimmermans nephew just came to des moines. he played with his band at vaudeville mews. quite good.
are you related to his nephew also.. is he like your brother?

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Plagairism of Jokes from the State isn't so funny.

I'm Doug.

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