It's a jungle out there
March 05, 2005
Well, as you can expect, ever since Paris Hilton's cell phone got hacked, I have been getting nonstop calls.
They were mostly, "*DID* you date Fred Durst?" and "How do you know Paris Hilton?" and "I don't even exist!"
Trust me, I'm getting tired of it.
An ex-boyfriend of mine is becoming a daddy in about a month.
So that means, of the people who have dumped me:
Bastard Child? Check.
Abortion? Check.
Warrant out for arrest in two states: Check.
Became Gay: Check.
Became an Alcoholic? Check.
Well, unless you're one of the witty watercooler comedians out there and "alcoholics go to meetings," then scratch that last one to become:
Parties like he's come down with Vince Vaughnian "Old School" syndrome? Check.
Since I like using colons, let's keep going with this, eh?
(You thought I was going to say "let's go to the bathroom," didn't you? No? You're a better man than I, my good sir.)
Stupidist thing I've said in the last week: "My legs hurt so much, but I never do anything athletic! I think it's muscle apathy."
Stupidest thing Felicia has said in the past week: (After watching Ray Romano tell a joke about masturbating with soap) "Wouldn't the soap have to have a hole in the middle?"
Irritating grammar correction of the week: People who pronounce NASA (nass-uh) as "Nassau" (nass-ow). Unless I'm crazy, NASA *is* in Nassau County, but still. Words are different for a reason. Otherwise dictionaries would be quite short.
Best detective show in history: Monk.
Times I went skiing today: 1
Times I fell: 2
People who laughed hysterically and clapped both times: Everyone in the chair lift above me.
Posted by Kitsune at March 5, 2005 10:06 PM | digg this
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And yet I find myself envious of the next fellow. [/ObviousFlirtation]
... ANYHOOZAL ...
You actually Ski or do you Snowboard?
I've done the whole snowboarding thing for a year or two and while good for a larf I found Skiing is where my heart really is.
Course here I sit with two ski resorts within 30 miles of me and yet no snow to cover them. (Temps 40-60 degrees F for a whole month now. CRAZY!)
Also falling is part of the fun IMO. Skiing just past your abilities is always fun times. If you come in and you don't look like a walking/talking powderd doughnut then something is wrong.
Wakka Wakka Wakka,
Kerjack
Posted by:
Kerjack
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Me, I'm a snowboarder for preference. Skiing just didn't do it for me.
Such a shame I live where I do, on a nice hot beach in Australia. *sighs and shakes head*
People who say things like "alcoholics go to meetings" should be shot.
Posted by:
6-foot Hobbit
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I'd like to think that it wasn't the stupidest thing I said all week, but the most brilliant thing I said all week. Get your shit straight, pinky-winky.
Posted by:
Felicia
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your site cracks me up.... oh man, i think i'll just come back for my daily dose of laugh.
and for the record, my history of boys kind of sucks, too.
# of boyfriends who didn't finish high school - 2
# of boyfriends who use drugs on a frequent basis - 5
# of boyfriends who SELL drugs - 1
# of boyfriends who aren't doing anything with their lives - 6
# of boyfriends who are rich spoiled brats - 2
it could go on for days...
Posted by:
Jen
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2+5+1+6+2 = 16 boyfriends?!
I sure hope your counting some twice in there... wowsers.
Posted by:
Kerjack
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Stupidist?
Posted by:
Gobo
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Ahahaha! The irony!
Posted by:
Kitsune
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Number of times a reader has corrected Kit's spelling or grammar, based mostly on the fact she's such a nazi about both:
Posted by:
6-foot Hobbit
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I am a nazi about grammar.
I don't mind too much about spelling, unless it changes the meaning of the word.
But thanks for being an asshole on my website.
I have no problem being corrected, and when I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
But typing "stupidist" was a typo I can learn from and change.
Are you going to also try to change how annoying you are?
Posted by:
Kitsune
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And yet I find myself envious of the next fellow. [/ObviousFlirtation]
... ANYHOOZAL ...
You actually Ski or do you Snowboard?
I've done the whole snowboarding thing for a year or two and while good for a larf I found Skiing is where my heart really is.
Course here I sit with two ski resorts within 30 miles of me and yet no snow to cover them. (Temps 40-60 degrees F for a whole month now. CRAZY!)
Also falling is part of the fun IMO. Skiing just past your abilities is always fun times. If you come in and you don't look like a walking/talking powderd doughnut then something is wrong.
Wakka Wakka Wakka,
Posted by: KerjackKerjack
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Me, I'm a snowboarder for preference. Skiing just didn't do it for me.
Such a shame I live where I do, on a nice hot beach in Australia. *sighs and shakes head*
People who say things like "alcoholics go to meetings" should be shot.
Posted by: 6-foot Hobbit- - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'd like to think that it wasn't the stupidest thing I said all week, but the most brilliant thing I said all week. Get your shit straight, pinky-winky.
Posted by: Felicia- - - - - - - - - - - - -
your site cracks me up.... oh man, i think i'll just come back for my daily dose of laugh.
and for the record, my history of boys kind of sucks, too.
# of boyfriends who didn't finish high school - 2
# of boyfriends who use drugs on a frequent basis - 5
# of boyfriends who SELL drugs - 1
# of boyfriends who aren't doing anything with their lives - 6
# of boyfriends who are rich spoiled brats - 2
it could go on for days...
Posted by: Jen- - - - - - - - - - - - -
2+5+1+6+2 = 16 boyfriends?!
I sure hope your counting some twice in there... wowsers.
Posted by: Kerjack- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stupidist?
Posted by: Gobo- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ahahaha! The irony!
Posted by: Kitsune- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Number of times a reader has corrected Kit's spelling or grammar, based mostly on the fact she's such a nazi about both:
Posted by: 6-foot Hobbit- - - - - - - - - - - - -
I am a nazi about grammar.
Posted by: KitsuneI don't mind too much about spelling, unless it changes the meaning of the word.
But thanks for being an asshole on my website.
I have no problem being corrected, and when I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
But typing "stupidist" was a typo I can learn from and change.
Are you going to also try to change how annoying you are?
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