Early Morning Cafe
September 22, 2004
I've been sitting in this restaurant for twenty minutes and the manager has been peering over the kitchen partition at me for the entire twenty.
He thinks I don't see him. He's partly right, since I took my glasses off, because I can't just sit at a table with glasses on, so I can't really tell if he's staring at me as if I were about to shovel a salt shaker in my pocket or as if I'm about to take off my shirt.
I just caught his eye again. Maybe.
He walked past me at fifteen minutes to ask if the food I was delivered was to my satisfaction.
I informed him that it was and I tried to smile innocently, but how innocent can one look with a mouthful of Eggs Benedict?
Now I'm trying to act naturally because I know I'm being watched, but I have to awkwardly hold the fork in my left hand, because I am sitting too close to the wall for proper elbow leverage with a right-hand grip.
He can't be looking at me, can he?
I've stolen a bunch of glances, but, as I said, with my glasses folded on the table, it's impossible to tell if he's meeting my gaze or if he's looking over my head for some salt thief just behind me.
He just walked past me again. Now this is getting ridiculous. I pretended to be looking at a basket hanging on the wall, which should have given him ample time to take stock of the condiments which still remained on the table.
There's a little kid with a crayon haphazardly grasped in her hand crawling all over the table next to me. A perfect diversion for any restaurant manager to set his watchful eye over, but instead, he keeps a steady gaze on me.
I suddenly get the urge to pitch my salt shaker at his head, but the plan is quickly aborted, not only because the wayward Crayon Girl could lunge in the line-of-fire at any moment, but also because, without my glasses, my aim would be way off and I would likely hit my own waitress, who was nice enough to bring me a water without my even asking, even though I really wanted one, but I felt guilty or ordering a coffee and and orange juice.
I quickly checked the levels of each. Maybe that was it. Stare at the indecisive girl, eh? Well, sir, maybe YOU can decide whether you want to enjoy the fruity coolness of juice or the warm smoothness of coffee or the neutral water that seems to cleanse between sips of each, but I cannot!
Doing your rounds again, little man?
Yes, pretend you're asking Crayon Girl and her family how they're enjoying their meal. After all, she only has one apple juice and that's in a sippy cup.
If I hadn't already tucked the salt shaker into my bag, I would whip it at your head right here and now.
Posted by Kitsune at September 22, 2004 09:36 PM | digg this
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Tis your beauty that befuddles the mind and grasps with the ability to hold the attention of even those with serious A.D.D., such as yours truly, Mademoiselle.....
Posted by:
Tim
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Somebodies got a crush on you, and you like it!
hehe. enjoy.
Posted by:
Likwidflame
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heh heh - i'd probably stare too. ^_~ isn't it strange what people do sometimes? i probably would've slung a casual "what're you staring at, buddy?" in the least most-menacing tone i have, but that's just my inner testosterone monkey talking.
i hope he doesn't have a credit card receipt by which to track you: the advantage of paying in cash (or beans and cattle, for the barterers in the crowd).
Posted by:
zanbowser
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I would have done that look Alicia Silverstone gives that guy in that Aerosmith video, u know right before the guy steals her purse, and then gets the shit kicked of him by her.
Posted by:
Erik
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Awesome.
Posted by:
KingHade
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I... see...
Posted by:
6-foot Hobbit
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Warning, off topic:
I don't know why, but I am struck to post this here.
http://www.esquire.com/brutal/
Enjoy.
Posted by:
Kerjack
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Kit, you'll hate me for this, but I need the computer. If anyone would go here, I'd appreciate it.
http://www.FreeDesktopPC.com/default.aspx?referer=8339463
Posted by:
Koty
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You crazy kids.
Posted by:
Kitsune
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Well come on... what can One say to a post like that one?
To think I discovered this site by loading up a bit of Sweet Google Action and typing in "Webcomic." This was right around the time I'd discovered penny-arcade and ctrl-alt-del. Machall came soon after, and pretty much assured me that Webcomics were all regularly updated, comedy gold.
That is all.
Posted by:
6-foot Hobbit
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This has nothing to do with anything, but everyone really needs to go see Shaun of the Dead. I really can't say any more than that without ruining something, so just go see it.
Posted by:
DrWyrm
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oh what a lovely little WRAP-UP
Posted by:
jed
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Update.
I'm up. I'm out of stuff to read. The internet has been read by me at this point. Update.
So now you have to listen to me babble. Babble Fish. That name is so accurate its funny. Or not.
The whole email/url required thing is annoying.
Your mom is sick? Well then... uh. Give her some soap.
That last line would make sense if I didnt delete what came before.
FYI desync.com has some great Anime steams going on WINAMP TV.
My spelling and grammar is not adaqute for general election.
I can never decide if I like the backgroud on this webspace. Yet I find a way to live anyway.
I sure hope none of you are actually reading this.
How many characters does this let me input anyway?
If someone asks me my favorite color I choke. What should I say? Are they going to judge me based on my color preference? Does white or black really count as colors? What would Jesus say?
At that point I usally say "Oh there they are!" Then once they turn around to look I punch them in the back of the neck before making my getaway.
Sometimes I want to goto China. Sometimes to live.
Sometimes to Die.
I think if one was able to make it to China and manage to starve oneself to death you have earned it. It doesn't sound hard, but I bet it is.
Don't worry I like life, kinda anyway. I just don't like people. China has many people, but they are oppressed and many remain humble. Plus I can't tell what the hell they are saying so at least I can't think them idiots.
The Goverment is crooked but at least the people can't be blamed for it. They voted for that old lady on the corner selling rino horn after all.
'Rino Horn' I bet Dave Berry would think thats a great name for a band.
I'm gonna go annoy someone else now. Update or fear my spelling errors!
Posted by:
Kerjack
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Rhino. It's not a misspelled city in Nevada. Now shut up and get me a coffee.
Posted by:
Likwidflame
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In the absence of update I feel I must share my thought for the day also.
Today, at work, I reffered to some lemons as 'wiley'.
That is all.
Posted by:
6-foot Hobbit
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There must be something wrong, maybe another hurricane or something like that hitting PA... i don't know because i'm in my sheltered existance in canada. Hope you're alright kit.
Posted by:
Likwidflame
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tis your beauty that befuddles the mind and grasps with the ability to hold the attention of even those with serious A.D.D., such as yours truly, Mademoiselle.....
Posted by: Tim- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Somebodies got a crush on you, and you like it!
Posted by: Likwidflamehehe. enjoy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
heh heh - i'd probably stare too. ^_~ isn't it strange what people do sometimes? i probably would've slung a casual "what're you staring at, buddy?" in the least most-menacing tone i have, but that's just my inner testosterone monkey talking.
Posted by: zanbowseri hope he doesn't have a credit card receipt by which to track you: the advantage of paying in cash (or beans and cattle, for the barterers in the crowd).
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
I would have done that look Alicia Silverstone gives that guy in that Aerosmith video, u know right before the guy steals her purse, and then gets the shit kicked of him by her.
Posted by: Erik- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Awesome.
Posted by: KingHade- - - - - - - - - - - - -
I... see...
Posted by: 6-foot Hobbit- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Warning, off topic:
I don't know why, but I am struck to post this here.
http://www.esquire.com/brutal/
Enjoy.
Posted by: Kerjack- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kit, you'll hate me for this, but I need the computer. If anyone would go here, I'd appreciate it.
http://www.FreeDesktopPC.com/default.aspx?referer=8339463
Posted by: Koty- - - - - - - - - - - - -
You crazy kids.
Posted by: Kitsune- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Well come on... what can One say to a post like that one?
To think I discovered this site by loading up a bit of Sweet Google Action and typing in "Webcomic." This was right around the time I'd discovered penny-arcade and ctrl-alt-del. Machall came soon after, and pretty much assured me that Webcomics were all regularly updated, comedy gold.
That is all.
Posted by: 6-foot Hobbit- - - - - - - - - - - - -
This has nothing to do with anything, but everyone really needs to go see Shaun of the Dead. I really can't say any more than that without ruining something, so just go see it.
Posted by: DrWyrm- - - - - - - - - - - - -
oh what a lovely little WRAP-UP
Posted by: jed- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Update.
I'm up. I'm out of stuff to read. The internet has been read by me at this point. Update.
So now you have to listen to me babble. Babble Fish. That name is so accurate its funny. Or not.
The whole email/url required thing is annoying.
Your mom is sick? Well then... uh. Give her some soap.
That last line would make sense if I didnt delete what came before.
FYI desync.com has some great Anime steams going on WINAMP TV.
My spelling and grammar is not adaqute for general election.
I can never decide if I like the backgroud on this webspace. Yet I find a way to live anyway.
I sure hope none of you are actually reading this.
How many characters does this let me input anyway?
If someone asks me my favorite color I choke. What should I say? Are they going to judge me based on my color preference? Does white or black really count as colors? What would Jesus say?
At that point I usally say "Oh there they are!" Then once they turn around to look I punch them in the back of the neck before making my getaway.
Sometimes I want to goto China. Sometimes to live.
Sometimes to Die.
I think if one was able to make it to China and manage to starve oneself to death you have earned it. It doesn't sound hard, but I bet it is.
Don't worry I like life, kinda anyway. I just don't like people. China has many people, but they are oppressed and many remain humble. Plus I can't tell what the hell they are saying so at least I can't think them idiots.
The Goverment is crooked but at least the people can't be blamed for it. They voted for that old lady on the corner selling rino horn after all.
'Rino Horn' I bet Dave Berry would think thats a great name for a band.
I'm gonna go annoy someone else now. Update or fear my spelling errors!
Posted by: Kerjack- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Rhino. It's not a misspelled city in Nevada. Now shut up and get me a coffee.
Posted by: Likwidflame- - - - - - - - - - - - -
In the absence of update I feel I must share my thought for the day also.
Today, at work, I reffered to some lemons as 'wiley'.
That is all.
Posted by: 6-foot Hobbit- - - - - - - - - - - - -
There must be something wrong, maybe another hurricane or something like that hitting PA... i don't know because i'm in my sheltered existance in canada. Hope you're alright kit.
Posted by: Likwidflame- - - - - - - - - - - - -